These feelings, whatever their roots, need to be openly acknowledged and constructively expressed. Cheating can often be understood as an indirect communication behavior, signaling chronic dissatisfaction, anger or frustration with the partner's behavior, attitude or quality of the relationship.Another is the inability to trust the betrayer, who has typically connived, lied, manipulated, covered up and otherwise deceived and made a fool of his or her partner. Addressing the underlying problems in the relationship in the aftermath of the betrayal can, in some cases, serve to improve communication and strengthen the partnership in the long run.They feel entitled to greedily take whatever they want, and grandiosely believe they are smart enough to get away with cheating without having to pay the consequences. Immature, self-centered, selfish men, incapable of real commitment?There can be a profound lack of caring and consideration for the partner's feelings, needs and personal perspective. Often such red flags are blatantly obvious to everyone but ourselves. Men whom they thought could be changed by merely loving them?Yet, we cannot ignore the fact that Sandra Bullock, Elan Woods and so many other betrayed women and men freely chose (and often continue to choose) to be with their boyfriends or girlfriends and marry their spouses. About the willingness to turn a blind eye to a partner's past and present inappropriate behavior, and decision to suffer remaining in a relationship in which the commitment to monogamy and exclusivity is disrespected and repeatedly violated? While compassion is spiritually commendable, forgiveness is not always the answer, reconciliation not always the right solution.
One of the greatest obstacles to working through this sort of dicey situation is the hurt, anger and resentment felt by the betrayed partner. In this sense, an affair can be a wake up call to both parties that they have neglected to maintain the health and integrity of their relationship, and need to do so if the union is to be preserved and thrive.
On medicine, Depressives/bipolar's should be given a second chance.
For the record, I believe the spouse of the Depressive/bipolar often has mental illness as well.
But in others, the partners, when willing and motivated, can sometimes work through this trauma together and salvage their marriage.
More often than not, this salvation requires the expertise of a psychotherapist or marital counselor.